don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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