some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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