I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
