I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No subtext here. People are naked.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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