P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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