He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
