brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
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