Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
