I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
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I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
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Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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