Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
