i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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