After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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