Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
