i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
