dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
