It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
