Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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