hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
