I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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