I hate your face
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize