Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Green mimosas i think yes
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
