Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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