I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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