Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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