be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
