That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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