Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
