Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
