I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
