its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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