And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
