I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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