if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
