this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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