he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
