Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
