Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
