she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
