she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
