In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
