try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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