apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
