I will die if light touches me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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