The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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