Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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