My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
