well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
