I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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