hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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