I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes