i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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