the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.