wakey wakey hands off snakey
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok