Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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