he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
