Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
