Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
