And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
